Maintaining Focus

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I have been under the radar for a minute. I have been spending time with myself and God reflecting in order to gain a clearer picture of my purpose and what direction I want to go. I have been priviledged to be a part of some amazing opportunities but I was not fulfilled. I have always wanted to help people but I didnt know how or what avenue that I was supposed to do it. Sometimes we jump on the bandwagon of what’s hot or what someone else believes is a good fit for our life. Clarity in your purpose is important because if you don’t have clarity in your purpose, then you will sometimes allow others to determine it for you.

Only you know what you are called to do. It may take some soul searching and removing the distractions before you can really know what it is. Dont be detered when you begin this journey of self discovery. There will be pains and past hurts that you discover about yourself. You have to be willing to be open to healing in all areas that will hinder your growth. Others may look at you or judge you based on the new road that you are traveling. Stand firm and keep the Faith and know that learning is a part of growing.

This was just a little something that was in my heart to share regarding my journey. I pray that anyone looking to be fulfilled and live the life that God has called them to live, allow yourself that learning and growing process. Don’t just jump into anything and you are not sure if that is what you want to do. Peace and blessings to all and I wish you the best in your journey.

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Love at a Cost

I usually don’t chime in on the situations in reality tv because for the most part a lot of it is scripted for entertainment purposes. I couldn’t help but voice my opinion regarding the Peter Gunz, Tara Wallace and Amina Buddafly love triangle.

I do not support Peter Gunz or his actions but I can’t place all the blame on him in this situation. He is receiving a lot of backlash  for his marriage to his artist Amina Buddafly. He has been in a 13 year relationship with the mother of his two children, Tara Wallace. I can’t view Tara as a victim in this situation. I know many felt like she was done very wrong. I feel her pain too. Many of us women have been in the same situation. Even though Tara was dealt a bad hand, she has to take responsibility for her part in the relationship.

Tara knew that Peter Gunz had problems with cheating. She even mentioned on the first episode of season 4 that she had forgave him for a prior fling he had. Tara also already had her suspicions about Peter and Amina. She was waiting for it to unfold on Peter. Amina is definitely not blameless in this situation. Even though the couple was having issues, she still should not entered into a union with Peter Gunz.

Tara, a lot of us can identify with you but there comes a time where you have to see a man for who he is. If he has certain habits that never seem to go away, you have to accept that he will not change unless he wants to. Don’t stay in a unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids or companionship. Respect yourself enough to put your needs and well being first. Self love is the best love and it doesn’t cost a thing.

Girl you can’t be Fabulous and Broke

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Let me start by saying that broke is a state of mind. You only are what you believe you are. This post pertains to women who place more emphasis on material things than building a nice financial future. I like to look nice and have nice things just like the next woman. I can’t justify carrying around a $300 purse and my bank account is on $0 or in the negative. Being fabulous is not determined by how expensive you look. Build a solid bank account without having to rely on maxing out credit cards. If you do buy anything on credit, always pay your accounts on time. Then pay them off as soon as possible.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money on clothes, purses, hair, shoes and cars to be fabulous. Fabulosity is in the woman. How she takes care of herself. She has goals and works hard to reach them. She is responsible and educated with her money. She does not spend money wastefully. She invests in herself and her future.
Now I am not saying that you can’t treat yourself to anything or look nice. I’m saying spend wisely and not based on the price tag or the designer. There are many department stores and boutiques where you can buy affordable designer clothing and accessories. Don’t feel the need to be in competition as a fashion A-lister. If you can afford the higher ticket fashions, then make sure your creditors and other obligations are taken care of first. Be the woman who stands out. She is confident in who she is. She knows that being fabulous is not based on what she is wearing or driving. She is fabulous because she is a virtuous woman. Don’t allow your confidence to be based on how much you spend to look good. Create your own style. Be the standard that other women want to follow.

Enough is Enough: An Open Letter to my Sisters

This is dedicated to my hurting sisters. You have given all you can but have gotten little back in return. You shower him with love, support, encouragement and more, but the efforts are not returned. You are his life support when he needs a helping hand.  You offer him access to your home, finances, body and emotional well being. He has stripped away at you to there’s nothing left. He has drained you completely. You rationalize the phone calls and text messages he receives. You believe this is how love should be. Well I am here to tell you “enough is enough”.

You deserve better. Develop a relationship with yourself. Love begins with selflove. He will only  do what you allow him to do. You can’t blame him for the way he treats you, especially if you allow it. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don’t settle just because you feel lonely. The best relationship you can have is with yourself. Only you know what you deserve. Stand strong with your values. Your body is a temple and treat it as such. You are not some guy’s garbage to be discarded when he is done. You are a treasure that needs to be valued and respected. You have to value and respect yourself first. Reclaim your rightful position as a Queen. 

 

Sincerely yours,

A sister who cares and loves you

Knowledge is power?

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Many times in our lives we have heard that knowledge is power. From grade school through high school we were trained to study hard and receive good grades. The goal was to go to college so you can get a good job. You finish college with excellent grades but no job experience. So what happens next? You end up working a job that doesn’t require what you learned in college. Also if you weren’t fortunate enough to have your college education paid for, then you are deep in student loan debt that has to be repaid.

Moral of the story. Instead of focusing on college as an entry into the career of your choice. Invest in you. I’m not knocking college. We need doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers, etc. What I’m saying is in this economy you need entrepreneurial skills. Study wealthy and successful business owners. How they received their wealth many times is not the traditional way. If you are able to, get close to one. Pick his/her brain. You will find more times than one that they didn’t finish college. If they did finish college, they will tell you what they learned did not help them make their fortune. Be careful who you seek advice and knowledge from. If they are not walking the life that they are talking, then the advice is useless.

Surround yourself with people who have the results you desire. Entrepreneurship is not for everybody. Only a fraction will be successful at it. It depends on the  person’s drive. Also when things get hard will the person give up or keep pushing regardless of the roadblocks. Control your own life don’t allow others to control it for you.

Get out of your way

I started this blog because I wanted to share my experiences with many. I also love to write. I have reaped opportunities from starting my blog. I took a chance and it paid off. You can do the same if you get out of your way.

Sometimes we allow fear and disbelief in ourselves to stall our growth. I was even that way. I had many gifts that I wanted to pursue. Instead of following my dreams, I got in the way of furthering my ambitions. I would say things like, I wasn’t good enough to pursue these talents. I also would use my financial situation as a crutch to stay where I was.

I had to realize in order to reach the next level, I had to get out of my way. I aligned myself with positive people who supported, encouraged, corrected and motivated me. I also began to work on myself internally. You cant grow until you change your mindset. I was also attending classes, webinars and other events to learn as much as I could. I began to work on my finances. A healthy financial life is crucial. I didn’t want to spend my life working for money. I wanted my money to work for me.

There will never be a perfect time to start something that you dream of doing. Sacrifice is a key element to get you to the next level. You have to sacrifice eating out on a daily basis to save money to put towards your goals. You will be amazed on what you can achieve if you plan your spending and make the necessary cutbacks.

In order to receive, you must give. This doesn’t mean monetary. You can give your gifts, talents, or even your time. When you serve others, you open up many more doors. You are exposing yourself to more opportunities to reap rewards. Take inventory of where you are now. Are you happy with where your life is going? Do you feel like you are fulfilling your purpose? Are there goals you have wanted to accomplish, but you allowed your circumstances to block them. Make a decision today to get out of your way. Achieve what you have been called to do. You can be used where you are just take the first step.

Unpack the emotional baggage

  

We all have hurts and disappointments that we carry around with us. In order to live a healthy life, you have to unpack the baggage. It’s not going to be an overnight process.You have to get to the root cause of the emotional burdens What unresolved issues are you not addressing? Healing starts with recognizing where it started.

Prayer, fasting, and reading the bible are the foundation in healing. Developing a spiritual relationship with God is important. I have learned as long as I live my life pleasing to him, everything else doesn’t matter. No one is perfect or without sin. If you are deeply rooted in the word, you will notice a dramatic change in your emotional wellness. When in prayer, confess your hurts and pains to God. He hears all cries. “It is when you are struggling, when you are weak, that God is strong in you” (1Co 1:27-31)

Seek trusted counsel. There is no shame in having to talk to a professional counselor or a life coach. It’s therapeutic to be able to release all the baggage, that has been bottled up. The counsel you have chosen will be able to give you insight into areas you have suppressed. There may be areas in your life that you have not addressed. You suppressed it. Having a professional to talk to allows you to revisit those areas and begin the unpacking process.

Develop healthy friendships and relationships. Who you associate with is very important. You need to be surrounded by people who support, uplift, encourage and correct you when needed. Unhealthy relationships can inhibit your growth. You can become stagnant and unmotivated, being surrounded by the wrong people. They have their own baggage that they are carrying around. Don’t allow them to speak negativity into your life. You can wish them the best and keep it moving. You can’t change who they are. The only thing you can do is continue to be the best person you can be.

Finally, forgive and let it go. Harboring unforgiveness is unhealthy. Many have gone to the grave harboring unforgiveness towards someone. There are also people who have lost loved ones and are not able to tell them that they forgive them. Unforgiveness is one of the biggest emotional burdens which people carry around. You are giving the person power over you. They may have long forgotten about the situation. It is still eating away at you little by little. Forgiving the person is showing that they have no power over you. This doesn’t mean you allow it to happen again. You know that our Father forgives us of our sins, and we can do the same. Take the steps needed to unpack your emotional baggage. There is no reason for you not to live a healthy life. Enjoy what the world has to offer. Enjoy it with people who you love and who love you.